Someone sent us a quickie e-mail throwing their two cents into our conversation about the success and perils of modern dating environments. Thankfully, they (cautiously) OK’d us reprinting it here:
1. There are plenty of guys i’ve dated that i would NEVER EVER pick out online. They were based on chemistry, pheromones, and things like that, rarely taste in music or books or films (hah). Sometimes I see friends who have online profiles, and I’m like, “wow, you are not representing yourself well,” whether through photos or whatever. I kind of want to help them, but that would be awkward, right? Like, this photo makes you look chinless and your profile doesn’t give a sense of how funny you are and so forth. Or i see someone i know, and I’m like, “wow, you are such a douche i can’t believe i was ever interested in you,” because a written profile gives you a sense of how that person sees him/herself.
2. My friends met online and are getting married, and they’re honestly both really awesome and probably wouldn’t have otherwise met. I think that’s extremely rare.
3. I also think that intentions, even when online dating, aren’t always clear. Maybe they’re just bored or filling time or taking time off from their girlfriends or whatever. Plus, your friends can’t vet them!
4. Women are worried about being creeped on in NYC because when you encounter guys randomly on the street, the ones who do say hi are fucking miscreants who generally are sexually harassing you or insulting you. Last week when I didn’t say hi to a guy on 3rd street, he called me a fatso! He was short and ugly and probably had a small penis.
5. I think, especially in big cities like NYC, people are afraid to admit they’re lonely. They build up all sorts of defense mechanisms, and I think a lot of guys are looking to trade up for someone younger, prettier, thinner, and maybe some women are like that too, but i don’t know about that because i certainly don’t (except I’d like to trade to, you know, people who are functioning humans). so it’s hard to remain really open to meeting someone and taking that risk and few people do it.
This week, we’re glad to welcome a special guest to the show: PR guru and our friend, Elaine Hughes!
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“Since my brain really only works in the morning, I try to keep that time free for writing and thinking and don’t read any media at all until lunchtime, when I treat myself to The New York Times—the paper edition. At this point, I realize, I am almost a full 24 hours behind the news cycle. Is this is a problem? I have no idea. My brother, who is a teacher, always says that we place too much emphasis on the speed of knowledge acquisition, and not the quality of knowledge acquisition: I guess that means that the fact that I am still on Monday, when everyone else is on Tuesday, is okay.”—Malcolm Gladwell doesn’t really give a shit about the news cycle. Read the rest of his Media Diet at The Atlantic Wire. (via theatlantic)